I really hate a goodbye. But, what if you really care for something even though you want to forget it, for it is something not worthy? And the only answer you may find is just a GOODBYE.
Moving on after a relationship is hard to do especially when you had loved with nothing less, purity, innocence and truthfulness. Indeed, one fact is when it is your first romantic relationship even if it is not your first love.
We started as usual classmates in the beginning. He may be tall, dark, but not totally handsome. I find him attractive, but I’m not with it. We have a circle of friends in our class that must be something that connects us. It was so fun being with them and our friendship was the happiest part of my life. It’s truly a treasure. I really don’t know why it became so complicated for us during the first quarter of our school year. He may not be perfect. But, it seems that he became special to me.
Once, he accidentally, or not, kissed me in front of our classmates. I was totally shocked. I found that what had happened was very embarrassing. Especially like me, if a girl was unconscious of being stolen of a kiss by a guy that’s not even her boyfriend. Gosh! He suddenly courted me. It was something I ought hardly to believe which I thought was also just a part of the dare, like a stolen kiss. I hesitated, but then I took it for granted, because I know it was just some playful thing a boy can do. But then, we had our relationship even with the fact that he had his girl. I know it was just a play, and of course, a play should end. We ended our relationship week after. Everything was back to normal. A couple of weeks he courted me again and discovered that he finally ended his relationship with his girl that I eventually made friend with. We officially got back at once in our sweet romance. I found out many things that I never knew about him. He’s generous, understanding, thoughtful, gentleman, and above all he’s really sweet – that’s what I really like. I had never imagined that we will be together as lovers, for I don’t want to be in a relationship but somehow I like him. It’s like I just followed in the flow of the situation, like a fate. It was mixed emotions – love, happiness, joy, and pain. Our relationship is not easy but it has a lot of complications. Still, we made it through but we broke up in the end because of misunderstanding and pride. “PRIDE” ruined our relationship. He was like a child for not taking the courage to make it up with me and explain. Is that my fault? Well, whatever it is – it’s past. I am willing to listen and understand with his explanation if only he did. But, he did no actions at all. There is one thing I know that’s sure, he’s very honest but beside his honesty is being unfaithful.
It takes time to move on. It may not even reflect on what I am right now – but I know it has to be. I have no regrets in loving him for I know loving is something not to be regretful of. It is a journey of letting yourself learn from your own experiences even from one’s heartache. It is a journey of searching for your own happiness and may it end with nothing left. But, it’s part of it. Not all endings are sorrowful & painful. It may either be happiness or joy. Besides, endings are just part of a beginning. Love has no ending. It’s not just a story because a story can be foretold. It is life. Life that is constantly changing and moving with such emotions. “Love life and live for love”. These are words that have their own meaning and existence. You cannot live without love, and you cannot love without life. I had loved, but I lost it and that loss helped me to know myself if love’s around.
Goodbyes are such sad words of letting go but as long as the words were properly explained you parted in good terms. That’s the most important. He has a new relationship now, but I still love him. And yes, I love him as a past lover. =))
Moving on after a relationship is hard to do especially when you had loved with nothing less, purity, innocence and truthfulness. Indeed, one fact is when it is your first romantic relationship even if it is not your first love.
We started as usual classmates in the beginning. He may be tall, dark, but not totally handsome. I find him attractive, but I’m not with it. We have a circle of friends in our class that must be something that connects us. It was so fun being with them and our friendship was the happiest part of my life. It’s truly a treasure. I really don’t know why it became so complicated for us during the first quarter of our school year. He may not be perfect. But, it seems that he became special to me.
Once, he accidentally, or not, kissed me in front of our classmates. I was totally shocked. I found that what had happened was very embarrassing. Especially like me, if a girl was unconscious of being stolen of a kiss by a guy that’s not even her boyfriend. Gosh! He suddenly courted me. It was something I ought hardly to believe which I thought was also just a part of the dare, like a stolen kiss. I hesitated, but then I took it for granted, because I know it was just some playful thing a boy can do. But then, we had our relationship even with the fact that he had his girl. I know it was just a play, and of course, a play should end. We ended our relationship week after. Everything was back to normal. A couple of weeks he courted me again and discovered that he finally ended his relationship with his girl that I eventually made friend with. We officially got back at once in our sweet romance. I found out many things that I never knew about him. He’s generous, understanding, thoughtful, gentleman, and above all he’s really sweet – that’s what I really like. I had never imagined that we will be together as lovers, for I don’t want to be in a relationship but somehow I like him. It’s like I just followed in the flow of the situation, like a fate. It was mixed emotions – love, happiness, joy, and pain. Our relationship is not easy but it has a lot of complications. Still, we made it through but we broke up in the end because of misunderstanding and pride. “PRIDE” ruined our relationship. He was like a child for not taking the courage to make it up with me and explain. Is that my fault? Well, whatever it is – it’s past. I am willing to listen and understand with his explanation if only he did. But, he did no actions at all. There is one thing I know that’s sure, he’s very honest but beside his honesty is being unfaithful.
It takes time to move on. It may not even reflect on what I am right now – but I know it has to be. I have no regrets in loving him for I know loving is something not to be regretful of. It is a journey of letting yourself learn from your own experiences even from one’s heartache. It is a journey of searching for your own happiness and may it end with nothing left. But, it’s part of it. Not all endings are sorrowful & painful. It may either be happiness or joy. Besides, endings are just part of a beginning. Love has no ending. It’s not just a story because a story can be foretold. It is life. Life that is constantly changing and moving with such emotions. “Love life and live for love”. These are words that have their own meaning and existence. You cannot live without love, and you cannot love without life. I had loved, but I lost it and that loss helped me to know myself if love’s around.
Goodbyes are such sad words of letting go but as long as the words were properly explained you parted in good terms. That’s the most important. He has a new relationship now, but I still love him. And yes, I love him as a past lover. =))
This was the piece I've wrote for him way back in highschool. I didn't have the courage to publish it in our publication, so there.
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